What you can't change
by PurpleGrl
Summary: Tara's trying to shut Ollie out for reasons she's not even sure of but Ollie's making it hard for her
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone, I've decided to write a Tara and Ollie fanfic as now with Leddi no longer existing :( I need another cute couple.**

**This is set before the episode of Sacha and Chrissie's wedding so before Tara and Ollie said that they loved each other. Enjoy!**

Tara sat at a desk finishing paperwork for Jac, as usual it was tedious but she was almost done so she kept on going, looking up she saw Ollie approaching with two cups of coffee in his hand. Seeing him made Tara smile slightly, Ollie handed one to her and smiled back broadly.

"You know how I like my coffee?" Tara asked confused.

"Yes," Oliver confirmed and Tara smiled to herself sipping the hot liquid. "Though I must say adding soya milk and cinnamon and no sugar is a terrible way to drink it," he continued. "Anyway do you know when you're going to be done here?" Ollie asked eagerly.

"Oh sorry it looks like I'm going to be ages," lied Tara.

"Oh, alright I'll see you tomorrow then," said Ollie deflated. Tara sighed as he walked off but knew she had made the right decision no how much she wanted to she wasn't going to let her guard down even for Ollie.

10 minutes later Tara had finished so she went to the locker room to get changed. Shuffling along the corridor she saw Ollie sitting in the locker room packing his bag so Tara quickly darted back a couple of steps. Unfortunately he'd already seen her and came out to greet her.

"Hey are you done?" he asked kissing her on the cheek.

"Ollie what are you doing?" said Tara stepping back.

"I'm just kissing your cheek," Ollie replied startled.

"Well not here," mumbled Tara awkwardly.

"Oh, ok then," frowned Ollie turning away.

"Ollie wait I'm sorry," gabbled Tara grabbing his arm.

"Well shall we go then?" smiled Ollie putting his arm around her and guiding her towards the lift.

"Ok, I'm just going to go and get changed though," Tara said.

"Ok, I'll meet you in the cafe, though I must say I prefer you in your scrubs," said Ollie cheekily walking into the lift. Tara smiled again and headed into the locker room before realising what she was doing. Getting out her phone she texted him:

"Sorry can't make tonight ran into Jac, got work to do see you tomorrow, T." Grabbing her bags she walked towards the on call room, she had an earlier shift and it was well past 11pm and she didn't want to risk running into Ollie. Collapsing on a bed she turned off her phone and fell asleep straight away.

**Please R+R!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everyone, thank you to lizzieee and Issy for reviewing both of you has said that the storyline is a bit short and I appreciate your feedback greatly , but don't worry I am going to incorporate other things in a few chapters.**

Tara woke up the next morning to hear Jac shouting as per usual, sleepily glancing at her watch her eyes widened and she suddenly shot upright,

"Oh crap I'm half an hour late!" She exclaimed, still dressed in her scrubs she ran onto the corridor to be met by an annoyed Jac.

"Lowe your shift started half an hour ago," said Jac frostily.

"I know I'm sorry I slept in," apologised Tara.

"Typical," muttered Jac before marching off.

Tara saw Ollie at the nurses' station and went up to him smiling, only to be met by Ollie glancing up at her before walking off.

"Are you ok?" asked Tara scurrying after him.

"Yeah fine," mumbled Ollie before walking up to a patient. Tara confused followed him before realising she needed to actually do some work. Walking over to a patient she glanced at Ollie wondering why he was avoiding her.

"Hello Mrs Wellers before your operation I just need to verify your blood type in case you need a transfusion," explained Tara. The old lady just stared back at Tara with a worried expression on her face making Tara feel uncomfortable.

"Right so I'm just going to take some blood then, do I have your consent then?" asked Tara. Again Mrs Wellers didn't reply just stared at Tara. Tara gently took her arm and got a needle out only to have the woman take her arm out of Tara's grip and putting it back at her side.

"Don't worry it's just going to be for a second," said Tara soothingly taking her arm again. Mrs Wellers wrestled her arm away and let out a long, high pitch, loud scream.

"What's going in here?" shouted Jac walking through closely followed by Ollie.

"Mrs Wellers is resisting having some blood taken," replied Tara.

"Well that may be because this isn't Mrs Wellers," said Jac stonily.

"Wait what?" said Tara confused.

"Dr. Lowe in my office," said Jac before Tara could say anything else. Tara helplessly looked over to Ollie for support but he was just staring straight ahead. Following Jac back to her office Tara looked one last time at Ollie before turning her head back and walking in miserably.

"Dr. Lowe how could you not have checked that the patient you were supposed to be treating was actually the right person?" said Jac pitilessly.

"I'm sorry I forgot to check, I... I hadn't met Mrs Wellers before," said Tara flustered.

"Well you should have seen the wristband on her saying she was mentally unstable then," informed Jac, "you have one more chance or you're off my ward."

"Right... sorry," said Tara before turning to walking out embarrassed.

"And don't think you have a break this morning," called Jac after her. Tara saw Johnny and Mo eavesdropping as she walked out and laughing until they saw her and pretended to look busy. Stung by Jac shouting at her Tara headed straight over to Ollie.

"Hey why didn't you back me up there, and why are you avoiding me today?" she asked Ollie trying but failing to sound cheery.

"What? I'm just repeating what you did yesterday to me after work," commented Ollie failing to meet her eye, his eyes fixed forwards.

"Look not here," begged Tara.

"Fine then," said Ollie walking out.

"Where are you going?" Tara called.

"Somewhere we can talk," replied Ollie continuing to walk, Tara gave it a minute then followed him out to the staffroom with her guard nailed up ready to deny everything he accused her of.

**Sorry will get better, please R+R xx pn**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to everyone who is following, rating or reading my story. Sorry its taken ages for the next chapter but I have been very busy and I haven't really been inspired until the previous tuesdays episode**

Tara shut the door behind her and breathed deeply, gathering herself before turning to face Ollie. He was staring directly at her unlike before, his gaze hard and cold. Tara held his gaze for minute or so before he started to talk.

"I...I jus... I just can't seem to figure you out," Ollie stuttered slowly as if he was trying to work out something. "I just don't get you."

"What do you mean? What don't you get?" asked Tara puzzled.

Ollie walked up to her his piercing blue eyes looking into hers, he was almost to close and Tara took one step back.

"See this is what I mean, every time I try and relate to you, you just shut me out Tara," he cried exasperated.

"No I don't Ollie, I don't know what you mean," Tara lied.

"You do know Tara, you must know," said Ollie raising his voice. "Like yesterday you ignoring me and not wanting to see me then today acting completely the opposite."

"You know I had work for Jac..." started Tara.

"Don't lie, I deserve that much. I mentioned it to Jac and she knew nothing of it," shouted Ollie stepping forward again.

"Look..." stammered Tara trying to think of an excuse desperately.

"No Tara you can't treat me like this, I'm not a puppy you can just play with when you want, I have feelings even if you don't" he yelled frustrated while grasping the back of her neck with his hands as if he was trying to see inside her head.

It was at that moment Jac walked in fixing her cold unforgiving eyes on Tara.

"I hate to break up this love nest but Dr. Lo I thought I said you weren't allowed a break," Jac informed sarcastically.

"Right sorry Miss Naylor," said Tara obediently before walking off, her heart beating fast. She ran into the toilet and only then did she let her guard down and let the tears roll down her cheeks her face crumpled. She did have feelings too which she was proving right then, she took a deep breath and cleaned herself up washing her face and reapplying her makeup. She smiled at herself in the mirror but it wasn't meeting her eyes like it normally would and she still felt like crying uncontrollably, she allowed one more tear to escape and be wiped away before walking out and thinking everything through. Ollie was like no one else she'd met but she couldn't weaken, no matter how hard she wanted to kiss his soft lips back then before Jac walked in, but from watching her parent's messy divorce or maybe how she was treated in the past by exes she couldn't let Ollie get to close to her. But behind all the doubt there was a tiny space in Tara's mind where she wanted him to and it was getting bigger every time she saw him.

**Please R+R! x pn**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi everyone thanks for all the reviews, sorry if the story is slow moving as some of you have expressed but bare with me for one more chapter.**

It was the end of a long hard day and Tara was booked in with Hanssen for their monthly "meeting" which was due to begin in half an hour, leaving her time to grab a coffee and be alone with her thoughts. Handing the man behind the counter her coins she turned around to bump straight into Ollie.

"Hey," she mumbled looking at the floor.

"Hey," he said looking at the floor too.

Tara continued staring pretending to be fascinated by the cracks in the white squeaky floor. Ollie was the first one to break the silence.

"I'm sorry about some of the stuff I said there," said Ollie whilst clearing his throat uncomfortably.

"Can we talk as I'm on a break and you don't look like you're in a hurry to be anywhere?" he asked.

Finally Tara looked up from staring at the cracks which were now permanently burned into her long term memory as she had been staring at them for so long.

"Sure," she heard herself say.

Lying on the cold plank moving into the machine Tara tried to keep still while trying to make conversation with the man currently staring at her brain.

"So how's everything?" she asked awkwardly.

"Please keep still Dr. Lo," was Hanssen's only reply.

"Right sorry," said Tara sheepishly. Using Hanssen's inability to hold a conversation Tara zoned out and found herself thinking about Ollie. After their talk which had went amazingly well despite Tara not admitting to anything they had agreed to take things slow for Tara's sake rather than Ollie's. They had even ended it with a long, lingering, tender kiss which Tara knew she would remember forever along with the cracks in the floor but she could push that aside. They were finally in a place where she felt comfortable and could actually enjoy herself rather than worrying about where everything was leading, and they were gonna meet up for a pizza nothing more after his shift and her "meeting". Tara smiled to herself before realising where she was and wiping it off her face, hoping Hanssen didn't notice but even if he did he was hardly going to ask her why, but still she didn't want to seem crazy to him so she closed her thoughts and focused on how uncomfortable she was on the hard plank.

"Doing well five more minutes Dr. Lo then you can go home," commented Hanssen.

"Right thanks," muttered Tara trying to sound friendly. She heard someone walk in and assumed it was Elliot as he suggested he would drop by to take a look.

"Hello Dr. Hope," she called out from the depths of the machine.

"What the hell is going on in here?" echoed Elliot's voice back to her.

Wait that wasn't Elliot's voice...

No no no, he couldn't find out not yet it was too soon,

Tara lifted her head up anxiously praying she was wrong to get a full view of Ollie's angry yet concerned face peering into the tube she was in.

**Hope I can redeem myself by speeding up the story more than originally planned, please R+R! X pn**


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